The beauty of gardening isn’t in chasing perfection, but in creating and making it work in the time you have, says flower farmer Milli Proust. In this extract from ‘How Does Your Garden Grow?’, she reflects on a decade spent shaping her former garden in West Sussex, sharing the lessons, rhythms and insights she gathered along the way.
MILLI PROUST’S FORMER GARDEN IN WEST SUSSEX, FEATURED IN HER BOOK ‘HOW DOES YOUR GARDEN GROW?’ IMAGE: ÉVA NÉMETH
Time passes differently in a garden. It’s not rushed, not sharp-edged or finite like it so often feels elsewhere. Instead, it unspools in petals and seed pods, in soft changes and quiet returns. I think that’s why I love it. The slow, faithful rhythm of the year allows me to think differently about time; it’s not measured by a clock, but by the natural cycle of all things. The first crocus cracks open the year. Then come the tulips, the foxgloves, the bees, the soft summer evenings. By the time the leaves start to fall, I can feel it in my bones, the shape of another year lived in flowers. As I write this, overlooking the winter garden glistening with ice, I can’t help but marvel at the fact that I’ve been tending to this plot for ten years. A fact that still surprises me, mostly when I find myself battling weeds taller than me, or realising I’ve planted something entirely wrong. Again.
Gardening is more than just growing things; it is a personal journey for each of us who do it, and in many ways, an act of legacy. An unbroken thread that ties us to the countless growers who came before us, each other, and those yet to come. I often think about how seeds and knowledge, once shared around kitchen tables or at the edge of fields, have travelled across centuries and continents to end up in our hands today. It’s seeds that have really fuelled my obsession with gardening, that spark of possibility that lives inside something so small gets me every time. The techniques we use to sow, the plants we grow, and the lessons we learn along the way, are all echoes of a past where tending the earth was not just a necessity but an act of community, resilience and care. I like to think that I can feel that all in the bliss of working in the borders.
In a garden, we become both stewards and creators, inheritors and innovators. Gardening asks us to carry forward with care, to move towards the future while honouring what came before. Seeds, cuttings, and plants all hold the past, present, and future within them. They carry the wisdom of centuries, from those who first cultivated the land, to those who coaxed wild plants into food and medicine, and to those who grew not only for sustenance, but for delight and wonder. When we pass down plant knowledge, whether through books, conversations or the simple act of giving someone a cutting or a packet of seeds, we’re keeping something alive that’s bigger than any one garden.
When I first arrived here in West Sussex and suddenly became custodian of a garden, I felt completely unprepared. My previous growing had been limited to a few pots and window boxes, dragged from flat-share to flat-share. They were a mix of triumphs (sweet peas spilling over the edges) and disasters (everything else). But there was enough magic in those pots to keep me going, to keep me dreaming, and they eventually led me here, to this piece of land that changed the course of my life. This garden became a place of solace, somewhere to work through life’s peaks and troughs, to focus my energy, to clear my mind, and to bury the parts of myself I no longer needed. It’s also been a place of joy and connection, where friends and family gather, where life hums and unfolds against a backdrop of beauty.
I love being a gardener. I’m not a designer or a horticultural expert, just a gardener who has built a space I cherish. It’s not perfect (ask me about the time I accidentally grew the world’s tallest teasel here*), but as I prepare to move on and pass this garden to someone new, I can say without hesitation: I have loved every messy, magical corner of it. A good garden, like life, evolves and grows with us.
MILLI PROUST IN THE GARDEN OF HER FORMER HOME, SURROUNDED BY FOXGLOVES, ROSES AND IRIS. IMAGE: ÉVA NÉMETH
The Reality of Time in the Garden
A garden is a living thing, and like anything alive, it needs time, love and attention. But the truth is, our lives change, and the time we can dedicate to our gardens fluctuates. In my case, I still gather plenty of ingredients for floristry work, harvest seeds for the business, and enjoy the garden as a haven. But life has changed in the last ten years and the reality of balancing a toddler, a growing business and another plot has forced me to prioritize. Since my business partner, Paris, and I started renting an additional acre for our cut-flower and seed business a few miles down the road, my home garden has had to adapt. A plot that once received hours of daily attention now gets just 3–6 hours a week. While that’s less than I’d love to give it for its size, it’s still enough to keep the garden generous, beautiful and productive for my family’s needs.
Gardens evolve with our lives. Whether you’re just starting out or scaling back, there’s always a way to adjust your garden to fit the time, energy and love you have to give. With thoughtful planning and an openness to change, your garden can remain a source of joy no matter how much – or how little – time you can dedicate to it. As soon as the garden feels like a chore, or it becomes overwhelming, it’s a sign to adapt it to fit your life and design it to be more manageable.
YEW TOPIARY BALLS ADD YEAR-ROUND STRUCTURE TO THE PERENNIAL BORDER, WHICH IN SPRING IS FILLED WITH NARCISSUS ‘TÊTE-A-TÊTE’, HELLEBORES AND EUPHORBIA CHARACIAS SUBSP. WULFENII. IMAGE: ÉVA NÉMETH
Managing Expectations and Garden Time
When creating a garden, it’s easy to focus on the planning and planting stages while overlooking the ongoing commitment a garden requires. A garden isn’t just a one-time project; it’s a continuous relationship that evolves over the years. Being realistic about how much time you have, and how much time you want to spend, will shape your garden’s layout, design and plant choices.
The best gardens aren’t necessarily the ones tended to daily, although of course they are likely to be lovely and loved; a thoughtfully planned garden with self-sufficient planting can still be beautiful, productive and seasonally interesting, even with minimal maintenance. Ask yourself, how much time do you have or, more importantly, want to spend on it?
MILLI PRODUCES 70 PER CENT OF THE SEEDS SHE SELLS, AND IS TRIALLING 150 VARIETIES OF SWEET PEA. IMAGE: ÉVA NÉMETH
How to Plan Your Garden Based on Your Available Time
The size of your garden will also alter the amount of time needed to tend to it. The UK average is about 200 square metres (2,152 square feet). These projections of time spent gardening are with those sized gardens in mind, up to half an acre.
1–4 times a year: Opt for low-maintenance plants and landscaping, such as a meadow or small orchard. Choose hardy plants that thrive with little intervention.
1–4 hours a month: A primarily low-maintenance garden with perennials and a few annuals is achievable. Select plants that require minimal weeding or care, and focus on easy-to-manage borders or containers. Choosing a few plants that can establish a good groundcover, such as creeping thyme, low-growing sedum or clover, will help with weed management, and limit evaporation from the soil in hot weather. It would still be wise to have a simple irrigation system to help your plants manage through hot weather.
1–4 hours a week: You’ll have enough time to enjoy a relaxed potter in the garden, care for annuals, maintain a small lawn and tend to containers and borders. It would be wise to install a simple irrigation system to water when you don’t have time.
1–4+ hours a day: With time to dedicate daily, the possibilities are endless. You can plant whatever you like, create diverse spaces and maintain larger areas, tailoring the landscape to your vision.
NARCISSUS ‘WHITE MARVEL’ AND ‘BELL SONG’, TULIP ‘LA BELLE ÉPOQUE’, WALLFLOWER ‘SUNSET APRICOT’ AND FRITILLARIA IMPERIALIS ‘ORANGE BEAUTY’ IN THE WELL GARDEN AT MILLI PROUST’S FORMER HOME. IMAGE: ÉVA NÉMETH
How to Design a Garden that Works for You
Your garden is an extension of your home, and how you envision using it will shape its flow and design. Whether it’s a place to relax, entertain, grow food or connect with nature, defining your priorities will help guide your choices. A well-thought-out garden can meet multiple needs, providing areas for tranquillity, productivity and play. How do you want to use your garden? Here are some ideas to help you tailor your garden to suit you and the life you want to live in it.
Eat in it: Prioritize a comfortable spot to sit, whether in the sun or shade, depending on your preference. Think about the times you’re most likely to use it – would you enjoy breakfast or dinner outdoors? Or, if you work from home, do you need a lunchtime retreat away from your desk?
Entertain in it: Designate an area where guests can sit or stand comfortably. Create a welcoming space for gatherings, with room for a table, chairs and perhaps some soft lighting for evening entertainment.
Play in it: If you like using your outdoor space for sprawling games of cards or for playing sport, you’ll want to make some areas for that. Likewise, if you have pets or children, it might be your priority to include a lawn for games, a shaded corner for quiet play, or areas for exploration. For pets, consider some pet-friendly planting, which basically means avoiding toxic favourites, such as lilies, foxgloves and daffodils.
Potter in it: For those who love to tinker and tend, centre your design around large borders that require care and attention. Include plenty of planting areas, along with well-organized storage for tools.
Reflect in it: Create a tranquil space with sensory elements such as fragrant plants, soft textures and the soothing sound of water. A solitary seat tucked into a quiet corner can provide the perfect retreat for reflection.
Commune with nature in it: Focus on planting wildlife-friendly species and creating habitats that invite birds, bees, butterflies and other creatures. A wildlife pond or bug hotel (see page 37) can enhance the connection to nature.
Grow ingredients in it: Dedicate part of your garden to growing vegetables, fruit, or flowers for cutting. If you’re not direct sowing, consider adding a potting area and cold frames. You might have a greenhouse in mind as a place to start seedlings (this can be of any size, from a miniature one against a wall, all the way up to a grander scale depending on your space and needs). You might want a place to store tools, too.
How Does Your Garden Grow? by Milli Proust (Quadrille, £22) Photography by Éva Németh
