If your child is struggling to feel calm, articulate their feelings, or relax into sleep, these simple, practical exercises may help
It’s all about noticing, says teacher and mindfulness expert Uz Afzal when asked how to explain to children what mindfulness means. And in a world that’s full of distractions, there’s never been a better time to encourage the little people in our lives to pay attention to the present moment in order to help them to feel calmer and more balanced.
Aimed at primary school aged children, Uz’s simple mindful exercises are designed to help with all manner of things; from aiding concentration to promoting deep sleep, encouraging communication and dealing with overwhelming emotions. Here are three practices that can be used with all children, including those with additional or special needs…
Practice: Balloon Breathing
IMAGE: SARAH WILKINS
Duration: 1–5 minutes, depending on your child’s age and their ability to engage and concentrate.
What you will need: your breathing body, a bell or chime (optional).
Read this introduction to your child the first few times you practise: This is a really helpful practice that you can use at any time of the day to calm down and focus. Lots of the other practices in the book use Balloon Breathing, so it’s a good one to start with.
Read this script to your child. After a number of attempts they may be able to lead themselves in the practice without your support:
- Take a seat. Feel where your feet touch the floor, feel your back straightening and close your eyes or lower your gaze.
- (If you have a bel or chime, ring it once. If not, move straight on to the next step.) Listen to the sound until it fades away.
- Place your hand on your belly. Imagine that you have a small balloon in your belly and that each time you breathe in, the balloon blows up, and each time you breathe out, the balloon deflates.
- Feel your belly rising and falling as the balloon blows up and deflates. You don’t need to change your breathing or breathe in any special kind of way, just allow your body to breathe freely and naturally.
- As you breathe in, you can say to yourself in your head, ‘Blow up balloon’ and, as you breathe out, you can say, ‘Let all the air out’. Perhaps you can picture the balloon blowing up and deflating with each in and out breath.
- If you find these words too long, you could shorten them to, ‘Blow up’ on the in-breath and, ‘Air out’ on the out-breath.
Continue for about 30 seconds to 3 minutes, depending on the age and attention span of the child. You can repeat the guiding words to support your child’s focus, leaving some brief periods of silence (5–10 seconds) between, each time you repeat them. About halfway through the practice, say this next line.
- If your mind wanders off into thoughts, that’s okay, gently bring your focus back to your breath.
- (At the end of the practice, if you have a bell or chime, ring it once.) Listen to the sound of the bell. Wait for 10 seconds.
- Gently open your eyes or raise your gaze.
Reflection: After the practice, it can be helpful to ask your child what they noticed about their direct experience as they practised, or what they felt. Whatever they tell you, acknowledge that it was good that they noticed their experience, as that’s mindfulness. You can remind them that it’s okay if their mind wandered during the practice and give them encouragement if they remembered to KCB (Keep Coming Back) to their breath.
Practice: Find the Feeling
IMAGE: SARAH WILKINS
Duration: 1 minute or more.
What you will need: just you.
This practice will help your child to identify how they are feeling and the focus on the breath enables them to calm themselves and gives them the space to respond. The act of using language to label emotions activates the prefrontal cortex in the brain and decreases activity in the amygdala. I recommend you introduce this practice when your child is experiencing a pleasant emotion and use it a few times in this context. Then, when your child is experiencing a difficult emotion and you try the practice, they will be familiar with it.
Read this introduction to your child the first few times you practise: We all experience different kinds of emotions and sometimes we have lots of different feelings in a single day. It can be helpful to investigate them a little as this can give us valuable information and help us to feel calmer, especially if it is a difficult emotion. So let’s go on a hunt and try to Find the Feeling.
Read this practice script to your child. After a number of attempts they may be able to lead themselves in the practice without your support:
- Can you name the emotion you are feeling?
- Can you find it in your body? (You might like to give some options: Can you feel it in your tummy? What does it feel like? Can you feel it in your chest? and so on.)
- Now, take a breath in and then, as you breathe out, imagine you can send your breath to that part of your body.
- Try that again.
- And one more time.
- Notice how you are feeling now.
Reflection: After the practice, it is always good to think over what you experienced and to talk about what you noticed and what you are feeling. Observations of any kind are good, as this is what mindfulness is all about.
Practice: Sweep and Sleep
IMAGE: SARAH WILKINS
Duration: 1–5 minutes.
What you will need: your breathing, sensing body.
Read this introduction to your child the first few times you practise: Sweep and Sleep feels its way through the body, starting at the feet and moves all the way up to the head and then ends with a final sweep through the whole body (though, by this time, you may well have already gone to the land of peaceful sleep). It’s super relaxing and can help you get a good night’s sleep.
Read this practice script to your child. After a number of attempts they may be able to lead themselves in the practice without your support:
- First, lie on your bed, tuck the covers around you and gently close your eyes. Make yourself comfortable, let your hands flop beside your body and let your legs stretch out.
- This next part is all about noticing how you feel. Notice where your back makes contact with the bed, the texture of the bed sheets, if you’re warm or cold.
- Breathe in, tightening all the muscles in your body. Breathe out, letting go of the tightness. Now, have another go. Breathing in and tightening, breathing out and letting go.
- Next, let’s go on a journey through the body, taking our attention to different parts.
- Start by noticing any sensations you can feel in your feet. Is there a tingling or an awareness of temperature, or of the weight of the duvet?
- Take a breath in as you imagine you can inflate your feet with the in-breath. Then, as you breathe out, imagine you can sweep the breath up to your legs. Again, notice any sensations you can feel, such as where your legs touch the sheet, or the weight of the duvet. If you don’t feel anything, that’s fine too – that’s just what you’re noticing.
- Now, take a breath in and imagine you can inflate your feet and legs with the in-breath and then, as you breathe out, imagine you can sweep the breath up to your back and your chest. Notice with curiosity and kindness any sensations that you can feel in this part of your body.
- Next, move on to your arms and hands, imagining you can inflate these with your in-breath. Notice any sensations you can feel, then as you breathe out sweep the breath all the way up to your face and head. What do you notice here?
- And finally, as you breathe in, imagine you can sweep the whole body with your in-breath, all the way from the top of your head down to your feet. When you breathe out, imagine you can sweep the breath all the way up your body from your feet to your head. Just breathe and be here and rest in your comfortable bed – resting into sleep.
- Goodnight.
Extract from ‘Mindfulness for Children’ by Uz Afzal is published by Kyle Books, £14.99. Illustrations by Sarah Wilkins
